Josh Hillebrand LCSW

I’ve worked with a lot of people who were certain and very worried that they have an addictive personality. When people use this label, they’re referring to something like “it’s easy for me to get hooked on something and I have a hard time getting of it.” The so-called addiction can take on a life of its own despite one’s better judgement (or doing something over and over without a mindful, intentional quality of mind). However, in my experience, it’s not just a personality issue. There’s usually something else going on beneath the surface. Here are some of the questions I help people consider when they’re worried about having an addictive personality:

• Substance Use Disorders: Perhaps someone is struggling with a substance use disorder. This can definitely be a difficult and uncomfortable question to sit with. Reflect on what your relationship is like with substances such as alcohol or marijuana or other drugs. Do you continue to use substances even if they’ve done more harm than good, such as getting you into health (both physical and mental), legal, or relationship issues? Maybe your body gets more of a hit or rush or buzz or high from substances compared to others or maybe it takes more of the substance to get a hit or rush or buzz or high than compared to others. Both of those could suggest genetic traits that would increase your vulnerability to a substance use disorder. If you need to use larger quantities or use more frequently, these could also be signs of a substance use disorder.
• Neurodivergence: Impulsivity and sensation seeking are qualities often associated with an addictive personality. But, they’re also common for people who are not neurotypical. In The Neurodivergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg, she describes that people with neurodivergence often need to find the right level of stimulation. Everyone has a sweet spot for stimulation. Both understimulation and overstimulation can be distressing and result in reduced mental health and in short term efforts to cope that might not work out so well in the long run. If you think you might have an addictive personality, perhaps its a sign that you have a neurodivergent mind and you’re doing your best to find activities or other sources that provide you with the right kind of stimulation you need to feel regulated. I’ve especially seen this in people with under-cared-for ADHD, they get hooked on certain activities and substances. Part of my work with these folks is to help them keep what is working, identify what’s not, and help them find the right kinds of stimulation that can fit into their daily lives.
• Emotional Coping: are you using substances to cope with stress or painful emotions like guilt or anxiety? If you weren’t raised in an environment where the adults around you modeled how to regularly practice emotion regulation (such as a family that either never even talked about emotions or one that thought emotions are more of a weakness best left avoided), then perhaps your “addictive personality” type is really an attempt to find external ways and methods of coping with internal emotional and mood states.
• Disconnection from Values, Meaning, and Sense of Purpose: Someone who is disconnected from their values, meaning in their lives, or a sense of purpose might attempt to cope by engaging in behaviors that could make them think they have an addictive personality. Think of thrill seekers who like jumping out of airplanes for fun or perhaps people who experience many and frequent short-term intimate relationships or people who are “addicted” to their work lives (AKA workaholics) might be struggling with an existential sense of emptiness. On the surface, this might look like an addictive personality but could be a sign that these deeper questions would benefit from exploration.

Again, these are some of the factors that could contribute to someone experiencing an addictive personality. If any of this resonates with your own experience, feel free to comment and share!